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  1. A politician who wears his opinions pompadour.
  2. An obstructionist who grows fat on conservatism and conversation.
  3. A reactionary to whom movement and motion are necessary in order to keep warm, and secure gulps and guzzles.
  4. A hungry or unsuccessful person; hence, an explosive, quixotic fellow with empty pockets and a shallow pate.
  5. One who has felt the slings and arrows of outrageous success that has come to others.
  6. A political piker, who will not play the game according to the rules which he himself devised.
  7. One who would recall all decisions that do not uphold his claims.
  8. A man who steals a label, and clapping it on himself, thinks that he is It.
  9. A plan for going forward by backing up to mob rule. (The first Progressive of whom we know was Judas. The next was Ananias. Lazarus was a Progressive, and had he married the Queen of Sheba he would have changed places with Dives. E. g., "This age belongs to the Progressives."--From Kazook's Confessions of a Popular Lick-Spittle.)