- An ornate fossil.
- A deadly ptomain that infests all forms of dynamic thought.
- An impenetrable mass of matter that contains within itself the principle of unchangeability.
- A turtle on whose shell is carved certain hieroglyphic lettering; such as, Ph. D., M. D., LL. D.
- A medieval owl that roosts in universities, especially those that are endowed.
- A plaster-of-Paris convolute.
- A man, long on advice but short on action, who thinks he thinks.
- One who draws his breath and salary.
- Anybody with a bulging brow and no visible means of support.