Optimism

OPTIMISM:

1. The instinct to lie.
2. Fatty degeneration of intelligence.
3. A philosophical system that attempts to demonstrate the existence of a pre-established Stupidity.
4. To believe that disease, dirt, earthquakes, fires, wars, politicians, blindness, and burial alive, celebrate and enhance the Glory of God.
5. To whistle while passing a cemetery in the night; to sing a hymn while having a tooth pulled; to smile while being robbed.
6. A tipple invented by Leigh Mitchell Hodges, the basis of which is clams and prune juice.
7. A kind of heart stimulant--the digitalis of failure.