Scholar

SCHOLAR:

1. An ornate fossil.
2. A deadly ptomain that infests all forms of dynamic thought.
3. An impenetrable mass of matter that contains within itself the principle of unchangeability.
4. A turtle on whose shell is carved certain hieroglyphic lettering; such as, Ph. D., M. D., LL. D.
5. A medieval owl that roosts in universities, especially those that are endowed.
6. A plaster-of-Paris convolute.
7. A man, long on advice but short on action, who thinks he thinks.
8. One who draws his breath and salary.
9. Anybody with a bulging brow and no visible means of support.