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Napoleon
- NAPOLEON
- A little Frenchman who wore a big hat, a little curl on his forehead, and whose ambitions were larger than his good luck. Started life by placing Corsica on the map. Like all great men, he was the dunce at school. Later he used his masters and prize-winning chums as first-row soldiers. Entered the army. Never succeeded as a sentry. Frequently amused himself by taking a couple of soldiers and capturing a city or an army between meals. The politicians in Paris saw the young man was not without talents. They gave him a few more soldiers. Then he went after countries. Captured Egypt, but had trouble with one Nelson of England. N. became unpopular with his neighbors. They all attacked him. He attacked them all. That settled it. He ate wars. After the powers were powerless N. scampered about Europe adding countries to France. He devoured Germany. Went after Russia, but they made it too hot and too cold for him. Had more trouble with that man Nelson. Became rich and divorced. Introduced Roosevelt publicity tactics into France and carried a third term. Started things. Began quarreling again. At last he was cooped up in Paris, and flew the white flag. Visited Elba. Revisited France. Started things again. Took some veterans to Belgium. There he was met by another Englishman by the name of Wellington who introduced him to Waterloo. For his kindness in leaving Europe England presented N. with a whole island, a complementary guard, and paid all his living expenses for six years. Later N. became responsible for one of the sights of Paris. Always carried his right hand in the front of his coat. Ambition: A French Nelson, England, and progeny. Recreation: Walking along the shore. Address: Fontainbleau, Europe, and At Sea. Epitaph: I Desire That My Ashes Shall Rest On The Banks Of The Seine Among The Few French People I Did Not Take To War.
