AIRSHIP. A machine invented for the purpose of flying through the newspapers.
See M. Santos Dumont. In case he isn't in when you call a part of his autobiography is printed herewith: "My first yearning," writes M. Santos--see page 97--"was for an opportunity to rise in the world.
"When but a little boy my dearest wish was to get up to the top of the ladder and then have someone remove the ladder. If I stayed up I knew I was successful. If I came down I didn't know anything for a week or two."
The reader will notice a peculiarity about this gentleman's name. It starts off with "M" and then there is eight bars rest until it comes to Santos. This is a French custom. Every man in France begins his first name with "M" and then refuses to tell the rest of it. It seems such a stingy habit.
Let us quote more from M. Dumont's own story:
"My first desire to get off the earth happened while I was extremely young.
"One day while out in the Brazilian diamond fields picking the luscious white stones from the trees it suddenly occurred to me what a frivolous life I was leading.
"Diamonds, diamonds everywhere and not a place to pawn.
"I became restless.
"My father owned the diamond plantation so I went to him and explained what a tired feeling I had, and how I longed to rise in the world.
"Father at once turned about fifteen volts into his right shoe and I rose for a distance of four feet.
"I returned almost immediately, but this short flying trip made a deep impression upon my mind, and otherwise.
"Ten years later I left home just to convince my father that I could rise in the world without his kindly collaboration.
"One day while in New York I went up to the fifty-ninth floor of a sky-remover building.
"The elevator was extremely nervous that day.
"While coming down I was pained and surprised to observe that my stomach did not travel with me.
"I spoke to the charge d'affaires of the elevator about it.
"I complained bitterly to him about such an inhuman invention which rushed through space with a man's exterior and left his interior to bump its way downstairs.
"The charge d'affaires of the elevator told me if I did not like it to get out and fly.
"That was the inspiration which drove me to build the flying machine.
"Two weeks later I went to Paris, because that is the flyest city in the world."